It’s mental health awareness week: and I am only too aware

So May 13th-19th is Mental Health Awareness Week.

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Yes i realise i am late to the party. I have a reason although you will have to excuse the shedloads of irony; i am not well. And by that i mean in my head.

Welcome to the beauty, or rather the curse of mental illness. As lovely as it would be if i could channel all my OCD into cleaning my wardrobe out (i’ve been putting it off for months) or all my anxious energy into getting through my overflowing email inbox, it doesn’t work like that.

Instead on a week where i would like nothing more than to blog, tweet, meet and run from event to event i can barely get my thoughts in enough order to make a cup of tea. 

And because of the inherent, insipid guilt and self loathing that has somehow slipped into the cracks (i drop my guard for one minute..) you beat yourself up because you, surely you of all people should be out there shouting on the streets, obsessively blogging and tweeting. But instead i know most have you have had something not unlike radio silence from my end.

I also feel guilty because the campaign is around physical exercise and wellbeing. Unfortunately this is less than possible for me for a few reasons;

1. Due to whatever mess is happening in my head at the moment i am really struggling to get out of bed and go to work (i have failed more than achieved this recently) although when i do make it it is some (stressful) exercise

2. Due to my weight and general physical health to some extent because of that exercise is not a great idea for me!

 

So i think my exercise for this week will mainly be lifting a cup of tea to my mouth and stretching in the morning sun. Better luck next time.